tiny thoughts and tribulations

Putting myself first has always been hard for me to do. I would worry about others more than myself and would be afraid about coming off as selfish if I did put myself first. I knew that I was a people pleaser, and because of this, I didn’t really know who I was as a person. Obviously, I wasn’t very happy in myself because of this, in fact, I really didn’t like myself at all. Forever self-conscious. 2017 was the year I truly decided to focus on myself and I have never been happier. This year, I have achieved things I thought I never would’ve been able to before. I finally gave myself a proper chance to grow, instead of worrying about other people. Maybe this sounds selfish to some, but for me it was so needed, I needed to get to know myself again, find who I really was. Nearly nine months into the year now and I’m so proud about how much I’ve grown. I really love who I am. I really think focusing on myself was one of the best things I’ve done. It probably sounds so si...

Asociality I’ve always struggled to explain what sort of personality I have. When I’m out in groups of friends or family I feel like an extrovert, I can be loud and chatty and funny (if I do say so myself), I feel comfortable in large groups and I do enjoy going out and having fun. However when I’m at home, or when people ask to meet up or make plans, it takes a lot of energy and motivation for me to get up and be involved. I love going out and I rarely regret it, it just takes a lot for me to get there. I used to think my behaviour was anti social, but I kept saying to myself, no, I want to be around people, I want to have fun, I just can’t get myself to get out of the house at times. The past few months have been really hard for me, I’ve become quite a busy person during the past couple of years, from involvement in different mental health organisations, working 4-5 days a week, and being a full time college student. Unfortunately for me, my social battery doesn't last ...